I’m so full of nothing,
I’m unable to consume any more food that has no soul.
My teeth don’t find any texture. My tongue doesn’t taste anything
My stomach is so full, and still, it hurts
Because I know there is no nourishment there,
I don’t want it. I don’t enjoy it.
Even if someone would bake me the most wonderful and sweet cake
I cannot eat another bite
I dream of flying. I dream of creating
I fantasize about the creative spirit
I need to release this mess
My body deserves better, more care
I am not sad anymore or disappointed.
I am determined, and I’m using all my energy to get it out.
I push, and I push
And I pray for strength.
And I stumble through the darkness to meet my soul
Whom I’ve not been allowed to meet for so long
I go down, down
And feel instincintuitive forces that are so much stronger and wiser than me.
And I smell intimacy.
I’m longing for it. I’m longing to become an intuitive force myself.
To flow and not care about the fear of the smell of blood
I’m emptying myself of emptiness
It will be over soon.
The leftover feeling is one of potential.